Direction vs Destination

Many people are walking around in a place they wish was better.

You can’t change your destination overnight.  

But you can change your direction.

Direction over time = destination.

Time will pass no matter what.

What direction are you heading?

What is amazing in your life right now?

The ideal life with the perfect situation in all areas is something we strive for that we will never have.  

But that’s ok. It’s not sad or disappointing to the realist.

It’s good to have better situations to strive for.

Think about it, if everything was perfect – what then? We’d do what humans do, and are doing now – find something that we wish could be better and either complain about it or strive to change it.   

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Take a moment to think about what is amazing in your life right now.

There is a lot that’s right.  Right?

"I can't" kills

You believe you.

The moment you say “I can’t”, all possibilities for you are destroyed.

What have you been saying “I can’t” to, that you need to reevaluate?

Thoughts on Maturity

“There is no ‘trick’ to being young: it happens to you.  But the process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained.” – Marya Mannes

“Maturity begins when we’re content to feel we’re right about something without feeling the necessity to prove someone else wrong.” – Sydney J. Harris

“Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you are supervised or not; finish a job once it’s started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.” – Abigail Van Buren

“Age is a high price to pay for maturity” – Tom Stoppard

Gratitude, not complaints

No matter what your standard of living, people will always complain about some inconvenience or something they think is “not right”.

Whether you are at the bottom, or driving a Maserati, it’s the nature of most people to find the exceptions to their good luck and focus on it.

It’s a good habit to count your blessings – often.  Gratitude attracts more good into your life.

You were born at this time in human history – you hit the jackpot.  

If you have your health – you are really lucky.

And if you happen to live in a free country, especially the United States, you live in the land of milk and honey.

The rest is up to you.

So what were your grievances again?

Living with Uncertainty

For many, uncertainty means risk and causes fear. 

“What if,” we ask. 

That fear holds many back.

We can’t expect a life without uncertainty.  Nothing is promised.  All we can do is work to craft the life we want.  If ‘surprises’ happen, we deal with it and keep going.

If we want certainty in life, we can only get it by playing very very small.

“If we insist on being as sure as is conceivable, we must be content to creep along the ground, and can never soar.” – John Henry Newman

“Ah, what a dusty answer gets the soul when hot for certainties in this our life!” – George Meredith

“Uncertainty is the necessary companion of all explorers.” – Marilyn Ferguson

Negative Reciprocity – Don't get involved

“Positive reciprocity, the exchange of good deeds, never escalates out of control; negative reciprocity easily does.” – Adam Smith

Who are you going insult for insult, and blow for blow with right now? 

It’s too primal and there won’t be a winner.

Better just let it go before it gets out of control.

We're all in an echo chamber

Don’t forget – the YouTube and Facebook is an echo chamber.  When you look something up or watch something, the algorithm thinks that’s what you like and will keep feeding you more like that.  

This does not make the world more and more like that.  Only what you see.  It’s validation of what you think you know.

Just remember that.

Search for something different.  Watch something different. 

Don’t stay in the echo chamber.

Constantly on your phone?

For most, that is an addiction.  People are looking for the next hit of dopamine.

Yes, a phone is a useful tool and communication device.

When you have something you are engaged in….when you are making something happen in the real world…you are on your phone a lot less than people who are bored.

You are boring to the degree that you can’t evoke interest from other people.  Evoking interest is about what you can do for them, or what you are doing that is interesting to them.

Be more of a leader or participant in life, and less of a spectator to what others are doing.

In the end, people regret the things they didn’t do.

Pretend your critics are right

If you’re trying to get better and do better, people will see that and give you all sorts of advice.

While other people can’t understand your motivations and intentions exactly, they see what you are projecting.  When they comment or try to give advice, there’s something to it – especially if more than one person says the same thing.

Failures see advice as criticism.  

Successes see criticism as advice.

Pay attention.

To be extraordinary is a choice

“The extraordinary is not the birthright of a chosen and privileged few, but of ALL people, even the humblest. That is my one certainty: we are all the manifestation of the divinity of God.” – Paulo Coehlo, The Pilgrim

 To be extraordinary is a choice. 

Is it one you have made in at least one or more areas of your life?

Be right by you.

Be good to yourself.  Take care of your health and fitness.  Do things that make you proud of yourself.

Stretch yourself and use more and more of the limitless potential inside you.  Be ambitious and self-disciplined.

Believe in yourself.  Bet on yourself.

“I can’t be right for someone else if I’m not right for me.” – Sammy Davis Jr., “I’ve Gotta Be Me”, 1968

If you want to live a good life – do this.

If you want to live a good life focus on the things that are WITHIN your control and let go of everything else.

Are you doing that?

Do you believe in you?

Who knows you better than anyone? 

You do.

Everyone intuitively knows that each of us has been our own witness our entire lives.

Those who believe in themselves go on to achieve great things.

Those that don’t, don’t.

If you don’t believe in yourself, why should I or anyone else believe in you?

Tough times make better people

“I don’t like people who have never fallen or stumbled.  Their virtue is lifeless and isn’t of much value.  Life hasn’t revealed its beauty to them. – Boris Pasternak

“In the dark time, the eye begins to see.”-Theodore Roethke

Resilience, endurance, strength, wisdom, ability, self-confidence, courage – all forged from adversity.

Be grateful for what happens.  

It is not happening to you, but for you.

You want to be here – don't you?

Good bad or somewhere in between, where you are now is where you are comfortable.  Otherwise, you would change it.

Sometimes, it’s time to get uncomfortable.

Effort is your responsibility

Sign on the wall of your life – “Effort is your responsibility”.

Talent + effort = skill.

Skill + effort = achievement

Effort factors in twice, and effort is up to you.

Be willing to be bad at it

Many people don’t try new things because they don’t want to look like a beginner and make mistakes.

We are experts being who we are and doing what we always do.  We are good at that.  But that’s all we do.

If we try something new we are not an expert anymore.  We are a clumsy apprentice who hopes nobody is looking.

We are the CEO at the company party looking at the mechanical bull or line dances, but we won’t try it.

“It is impossible to get better and look good at the same time.  Give yourself permission to be a beginner.” – Julia Cameron, The Artists Way

Tell your ego it’s ok, and try new things.

Live like you know what you want

Most people let life’s circumstances determine their path.

But you are a creator.  You just have to know what you want to create.

What are you trying to create in your life? 

Be clear, and decide.

Then get up every day and create it.

Optimizing your self-image

Your self-image is what makes you act like you.

You are with yourself 24/7 and are influenced by your own self talk more than any other factor.

Move in the direction of a better you – when you do something average or something you are not proud of say “That’s not like me”.

When you stretch, break new ground, step up, and/or outperform your average say “That’s like me!”.

Talk better to yourself. 

“That’s like you!”