Struggle builds strength

We try to shelter our kids from harm.  Makes sense.

The other day, our 11-year-old got out of school early because it was too hot.

We try to eliminate discomfort – physical, emotional, and psychological.  We even pass laws.  Ok.  I’m not saying I’m not for it.

The long-term results for many?

For people who have only known comfort and things going well inside their comfort zones, discomfort is a horror that is hard to take.

So they play it safe, and don’t take chances because it may not work out peachy at first.

I’d prescribe real struggle for many to make their life better in the long-term.  (I’d rather not be around to hear their complaining, though.)

I am quite qualified to give this advice.

It worked for me.

Talk positively to yourself

Yesterday, we talked about how your brain is listening all the time and that it makes no distinction between truth and untruth.  

If you speak negatively, it listens to you and believes you.

But the opposite is also true.  

Positive self-talk is accepted, especially with repetition.

“I feel great!”  “I am going to work on my most important goal today, and I’m going to crush it!” 

“I love what I’m going to be doing today”.  “I got this.”

As Zig Ziglar said, “Positive thinking won’t allow you to do anything, but it will allow you to do everything better than negative thinking will.”

Positive self-talk is reflected in your attitude, which others notice.  When others notice your positive attitude, they respond more positively to you.  Because they respond positively to you, it’s easier for you to be even more positive.  It’s a positive feedback loop – a spiral up.

Words matter – mostly to you.

How do you want to talk to yourself?

The one you listen to the most is…

The one you listen to the most is YOU.  Your brain hears every word you say.  

If you say “I am bad at that”, or “I am tired today”, or “I hate this”, your brain is listening and does not argue.

They are not just statements; they are instructions.  You brian goes to work to make it true.

Repetition creates stronger and stronger neural pathways for acceptance and instruction of these statements.

Be careful how you talk, even when nobody else is around to hear it.

Someone very important is listening, and will make your speech come true.

You should want to be something you are not.

Did that get your attention?

“What the heck kind of advice is that?” you ask.  

Shouldn’t I be happy with who I am?  Isn’t disliking who I am a cause for a lot of psychological trouble?

Yes. It is.

But I did not say that you should dislike who you are.

I said we should want to be something we aren’t. Yet.

I see people with no goals, and they are literally “aimless”.

We need to have goals.  Goals we really want AND believe are possible for us.  Goals that are not attained yet.

Those goals will take us out of our comfort zones.  

Those goals will give us a reason to get up in the morning.  

Those goals will get us out of our comfort zones.

Those goals will have us learning new things, stretching, being creative and courageous.

Those goals will chase away boredom and depression, get us excited and bring out the best in us.

At age 62, after accomplishing much, I have more of these goals.  I need these goals. 

And because I set out to accomplish goals in the past and did not give up, I am a more capable and better equipped person to achieve new ones today.

What do you want to be/do or have that you are not/do not now?

Can you write it down?

There is no excitement inside your comfort zone

I knew a couple who seemed to do well, but they always said no to invitations.  They had their routine, and they didn’t want to get out of it.

“Do you want to come to the party?”  “Well, we’ll see what we have going on.”   

“Do you want to try riding this thing?  It’s easy.  My daughter is riding it, see?”  “No, no, that’s not my thing.”

“Do you want to shoot this bow, or play cornhole, or go camping with us?”  “No, I’m good.”

But there was something sad inside of them.  There was no spice in life, no excitement.

Habits make life easier.  Good habits will get good results that compound.  But don’t forget to break the routine.

They say that at the end of life, people regret the things they did NOT do more than the things they did.

When you have a weekend where you do something new and out of your box, isn’t that exciting?  Aren’t you talking about it for a long time?

A few years ago, we scheduled a day where my wife, Marie, and I would go skydiving.  We actually accepted an invitation to go with another couple.  Well, Marie was so nervous, she didn’t speak for a couple days beforehand.  We drove there, and she was silent with fear.

The place ascended.  She almost threw up.  When she landed, she yelled, “That was the greatest thing I’ve ever done!”

This is life, everyone!  This is our chance.  

All growth and a lot of excitement live outside your comfort zone.

Go get it!  Try new things!