Stepping Stones

As I look back at the toughest times my life – I must admit – I had to be there, to be here.

Everything happens for a reason.  Even bad news is a stepping stone for something good to come along – if you don’t stop there, and keep stepping.

Want to complain? Here's some perspective –

This is from the book called “Living Untethered” by Michael Singer.  I love his books.  If you are ever in despair, read them.  Start with “The Untethered Soul”.

“Here’s a technique for getting perspective.  Put your mind in outer space and realize that there’s nothing out there but 99.999 percent emptiness.  There’s just empty space between all the stars.  Your nearest star after the Sun is 4.2 light years away.  To get an idea of how far that is, imagine holding a light beam above Earth.  Now, let it go for one second.  In that one second, the light circumnavigated the globe about seven and a half times.  Travel that speed every second for 4.2 years, and you’ll reach the next star.  There’s pretty much nothing but empty space in between.  We call it interstellar space.  That’s how it is between all the stars, all over the universe.  

How would you like to be out there and see nothing?  Because that’s what 99.999 percent of the universe is.  What you get every day is a miracle!  There are colors, shapes, and sounds along with all the amazing experiences you get at each passing moment.  Yet all you did was say ‘No, it’s not what I want.’  Of course, it’s not what you want.  That’s not the point.  Instead of comparing the moment in front of you against the preferences you’ve built up inside your mind, why don’t you compare it against nothing?  Since that’s what makes up 99.999 percent of the universe.

If you do this you’ll find yourself being thankful that you get to have your daily experiences.  They are certainly better than empty space.  That’s how a wise person lives.  The alternative is to suffer because things are not the way you want.”

The Dunning – Kruger Effect

The Dunning-Kruger Effect is that smart people think they are dumber than they are, and dumb people think they are smarter than they are.

Dumb (ignorant) people think the body of knowledge to be known is small and that they know most of it.  They are overconfident as they overestimate their ability to do something they know little about, including their ability to judge it or comment on it intelligently.

It’s probably not a good idea to be in this group very often.

Smart people realize that the more they learn, the more they did not know already, and the more there is to know and learn.

“The more I learn, the less I realize I know.” – Socrates

Surround yourself with people who make you better

If you hang around people who constantly complain, don’t make themselves useful, don’t try very much, have low expectations, and have nothing to teach you – how can you get better?  You won’t.  You’ll get worse.

Who are you spending time with?  

Improve the mix, and improve yourself.

Your body is a machine

There is no warranty. 

Repairs can be costly.

Avoid them in the first place.

Have you learned from experience?

“A learning experience is one of those things that say ‘You know that thing you just did?  Don’t do that.'” – Douglas Adams

Have you done things that produce a negative result, got that negative result, and are still doing it from time to time?

“People who aren’t good at learning from experience generally don’t fare any better with other modes of instruction.” – Dr. Mardy Groethe

Experience is expensive – let someone else pay the bill

“Experience is a good teacher, but she sends terrific bills.” – Minna Thomas Antrim

Learning from experience is great – you never forget it.  But it takes lots of time and is expensive and it can really hurt.

It’s better to learn from the experience of others.  Look around.  Observe.  Study and read.  It’s cheaper, faster, and hurts less.  

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” – Douglas Adams

Envy

Recently my wife asked our 8-year old if he’d like a ride to school in our sports car.  (She usually drives him an SUV or a Tesla).  He said no because the kids would tease him and that they already call him “Tesla boy”.  They were teasing him because in their mind a Tesla is an expensive car and that makes him from a rich family.

He’s 8 years old.  And, this is at a private school.

Where do the other kids get that?  From their parents.  

Human nature is a funny thing.  There will always be people who say that others doing better is somehow a bad thing, for any one of many reasons we have heard. 

If these people don’t strive to do better, then they are making excuses for their own standing.

If they do strive to do better, well, it’s not a good idea to hate what you aspire to be, because your chances of achieving it are diminished if you do.

Envy is not a productive attitude for anyone.  

Now I have to undo this idea inside my son’s head.  Learn well and every day, work hard and apply your talents to help others, and be a good human being – success is good and nothing to be ashamed of.

"Uggh…..ok……I got this."

My mental training and education combined with my goals have produced a certain way of thinking, and I wanted to share it with you.

I try to move my team forward all the time.  I try to avoid bad things happening.  But when a bad thing does happen, rather than whine and complain (internally or externally), I immediately switch from the “Get good things done” and “prevent bad things from happening” thinking to “What do I/we do now?” to make the best of it and keep moving things forward.

I don’t spend too much time thinking back.  I don’t ever feel like a victim.  I don’t feel powerless.  I don’t waste more time with a setback than it already inherently costs me by commiserating over it.

Am I disappointed for the setback?  Of course.  But I have also learned that setbacks teach you something.  Breaks in your progress or life can really be breakthroughs.

The older I get and the more experience I get, the less setbacks bother me.

“Uggh……..ok………..I got this.”

Optimists Win

Optimists get paid more, are healthier, win more games and elections, feel better, live longer, have happier families, and are better at dealing with uncertainty and change.

Are you an optimist?