Optimizing your self-image

Your self-image is what makes you act like you.

You are with yourself 24/7 and are influenced by your own self talk more than any other factor.

Move in the direction of a better you – when you do something average or something you are not proud of say “That’s not like me”.

When you stretch, break new ground, step up, and/or outperform your average say “That’s like me!”.

Talk better to yourself. 

“That’s like you!”

"No entitlement attitude"

“Money earned ethically is a byproduct of value creation.” – Dan Sullivan

A “no entitlement attitude” means you don’t expect anything to be given to you without creating value first.

Create value for others – you go first.

Be a giver, not a taker

If you are a taker, people figure it out and they don’t want to deal with you much or are cautious if they do.

If you are always contributing, asking, listening, and helping others, you will have more people that –

-are glad to see you

-take your call

-want to be around you

-will help you when you need it

-want you on their team

Be a giver, not a taker.

Some things don't change

“U.S. eating habits decried by visitors.

Although the average American is eating bountifully, some French visitors find his sense of taste and eating habits wanting.  Constantin Francois de Chasseboef, Count of Volney, has decried the amount of lard, butter, salt pork, greasy puddings, coffee, and tea Americans consume.  And Francois Jean Marquis de Chastellux, in his “Travels in North America”, says days pass “in heaping indigestions upon one another,” noting that Americans’ consumption of spirits completes “the ruin of the nervous system”. 

This was written in 1807!

Back then great tasting poor quality food was far less available than today. 

I do note they had bacon though!

Experiencing Stress

If you’re experiencing stress, you’re probably not responding to life; you’re reacting to it.

What is causing you to react?

Can you see that how you are mentally processing what happened or is happening is causing your stress?

Your response is a choice.

“Let it go.  Whatever it is, let it go.” -Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul  (Read this book if you are in a bad place!)

What rituals or activities can you put in place to turn things around?  Reading the right books.  Eating healthy food.  Getting enough sleep.  Walk out in nature.  Exercise (very good!)

Take control of your mental processes and your worldly experience.

It’s your mind, and you are in charge.

Mental Strength

People understand big muscles and speed and strength.

Mental strength is harder to articulate – bit matters more than almost any other factor in who goes farther in any endeavor.

Mental strength comes from working, from falling down and getting up, from practicing, and doing what you must do when you must do it whether you like it or not, and then doing more.

Those with mental strength will still be there long after others have given up.

Everybody likes to think they are tough and giving it their all.  But there is a lot more in you to tap.

How would you rate your mental strength?

Be in the top 10%

What if your company faced an external circumstance that forced them to downsize and get rid of 1/3 of the workforce?  Leaders had to decide who the bottom 1/3 of employees were who were least valuable (relative to what they were getting paid).  

Would you be cut or be saved?

What if they had to cut 2/3 of the workforce?  Would you be cut or stay?

What if they had to cut 90%?

Your job is to be in the top 10%.  If you are you will not only never have to worry about this unlikely 90% scenario, but you will realize so many other benefits as well.

Top people are always highly valued.  

Be one of them.

Attitude changes your world

“Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would be different.  Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change of attitude.” – Katherine Mansfield

In large measure, you see and get what you expect.

The world is your own reflection.

What is your attitude?

Advice to those experiencing disasters

I just got home from being away for 11 days in Morocco for a race.  Helene had rolled through before I left, and I heard about Milton when I got back. 

A long-time subscriber named Sean Perry who lives in Asheville North Carolina told me in the comments about the predicament in Asheville.  They have no running water, among many other things.

I have gone through some significant disasters in my life including my home burning to the basement floor 10 years ago.

Here is my best advice to people in Tampa, Asheville, or anywhere – 

1) Know that you are not your stuff.  Not your house, not your cars, not your clothes or furniture, and not even your family photos and momentos.  You can do without stuff.  There will always be more stuff.

2) Who you are being and your relationships are most important.

3) I know you probably can’t see it now, but this is an opportunity.  Trust me.  You’ll see.

4) When emotions go up, intelligence goes down.  Try to get past the heightened emotion as soon as you can. Take your time to curse the wind.  Then be done. When you have some time where you are thinking clearly and calmly, make a plan.  

What is the end result you want in a year or two or three and will work towards?

What are the steps to getting there?

Organize those steps in order and priority.  What is first?

Once you figure that out, act on it.

One thing at a time.

5) If that is too much at the moment, then don’t try to figure it all out at once.  Just look up and ask “What do I have to do today?”  Be your best today.  This hour.  This minute.

6) Take care of your health.  If dealing with the disaster is wearing you down and down each day, take some “time off” and get some rest.  The bad event is one thing.  It happens once. (ok Tampa, maybe twice.) But we beat ourselves with it and release stress chemicals into our body by reliving it over and over.  Don’t make your response to the event worse than the event long term.

7) Don’t try to do it all yourself.  Ask “Who can help me?”

8) If you can’t figure out a long-term plan because there are unknowns, figure out an interim plan – for now.

9) One hour at a time, one minute at a time.

10)  You are not a victim.  This is a test to make you better and see what you can handle and who you can be.  Embrace it.

11) Don’t argue with what happened.  Accept it.  Then work to make things better as you always have.

12) I’d rather live in Asheville in America right now, than in Morocco.  You are still lucky. 

13) Help others.

14) Keep talking to others – but not so much to others who drag you down into despair.  Communicate – don’t withdraw.

14) Be grateful.  There is always plenty to be grateful for.

You have a lot of life ahead.  This will be a story soon enough.  Make it a happy ending by doing your best and not giving up.

I hope this helps.

Irrational people

Some people you just can’t deal with.  And that’s ok.  Once you find that out, don’t.  It’s not worth trying.

Get around people who make sense and be happy.

“No rational argument will have a rational effect on a man who does not want to adopt a rational attitude.” – Karl Popper