The Paradox of Choice

When we have no choices we feel we have no control, no autonomy, we may feel the one giving us the sole choice is a tyrant, and we are demotivated.

When we have too many choices we get decision fatigue, overload, and find it hard to make a choice.

Do you feel you have too few or no choices in some areas of your life?

(If so, remember, there is always a choice – you just have to be courageous enough to take it)

Do you feel there are too many choices in some areas?

(If so, narrow down the field, make faster decisions, and move on!)

A brave question to ask

Go to someone who has had lots of life experience, has their stuff together, is successful and knows you well.

Ask “I want you to tell me honestly what I can do better with my thoughts, actions, and character so I can be a better more able and productive person and show up better for other people.”

Most people shun genuine feedback.  Most people don’t want to hear it.

Ask and listen and don’t defend yourself.  We are programmed for pain avoidance.  When it hurts your ego, you may be making some real progress and change the direction of a few things because you want to avoid that pain again.

Are you brave enough to ask a few people this question?

Learning from the past

Making mistakes is ok – good even.  That’s how you learn.

But making the same mistakes over and over is not ok.

Look back at your past mistakes – not to beat yourself up over them, but to learn from them and get better.

Use your mistakes to get better.

Learning is uncomfortable

We are comfortable with things we already (think we) know.  

When we learn something new, we don’t know it yet.  We aren’t good at it yet.  It’s foreign.  We struggle and it’s uncomfortable.

Many adults give up.  Kids would too if we didn’t make them go to school.

But growth lies outside our comfort zone.  If we don’t spend time doing things that don’t feel natural to us, we don’t learn and don’t grow.

The best learners are okay with being uncomfortable.

Learn hard

Working hard is great, but hard work alone will not move you ahead much.

Working hard doing something in a sub-optimal way, doing low-value work, or doing something that should not be done at all, is not very productive or valuable.

Growth is about how hard you work – at learning.

The more you know, the more value you can bring when you are working hard.

How well do you learn?

Don't confuse politeness with kindness.

Being polite is withholding criticism today. 

Being kind is being candid about how people can get better.

Being polite is not telling me I have spinach in my teeth.  Being kind is telling me.

Being polite is saying my talk was great.  Being kind is telling me where I can get better.

If you think that being honest is disloyal, you don’t understand that being honest is the highest form of loyalty.

If you are worried about hurting the relationship, just be kind and thoughtful while you are being direct and honest.

Ask for honest feedback so you can get better yourself – and listen.

We know how this is going to end.

You are going to die.

We don’t know how and we don’t know when.  But that is what is going to happen.

But take a deep breath – it hasn’t happened yet.

This is not a dress rehearsal.

This is your chance.

Nobody rises to low expectations

Nobody rises to low expectations.

Not your employees, not your friends, not your teammates, not your kids – 

and not you.

Who expects more from you?

Should you expect more and better from the people around you and from yourself?

The Wealth Gap

They talk about the wealth (or income) gap widening.  When you compare the top to the bottom, it should be widening!

That’s because the bottom is zero wealth or close to it.  The people at the bottom are doing things that are bad for their wealth, or not doing anything that is good for it – and they keep doing those things.

The top people keep doing the things that are good for their income/wealth and since the world economy is expanding, they are the ones to make it happen.

The good news is there is nothing stopping the people from the bottom from moving up.

The question is will you, or won’t you?

That of course is entirely up to you.

Listen

Imagine if you went to school and they put you in front of the class and said “Ok, go ahead and talk – that’s how you learn”.  

When you talk you can only say what you (think you) know.

When you listen you have the opportunity to learn more than you know now.

Tune into voices of value that can teach you what you need to know to accomplish your main goals.

Then listen.

A lot.