What we associate pain or pleasure to is called “neuro-association.” Maybe we went to a party in Montclair and we were ostracized and had a terrible experience. Now when we even hear the word “Montclair” we have a negative reaction. When we hear someone lives there, we think they are horrible unfriendly people.
Maybe we met some French people who were really super nice and accommodating and they helped us out of a jam when we needed it. Now we feel an affection for anyone when we learn they are French, assuming they are wonderful people.
It could be a place, a person, a food, a situation, a company, an animal – anything.
Neuro-associations are how we learned and stayed alive thousands of years ago, and are still useful. Don’t go to that area because that’s where the dangerous animals are. Don’t trust a member of that tribe because they ambushed us long ago. It’s still how our brain works.
Neuro-associations can be helpful or paralyzing and limit us. For today, we have to ask ourselves, “Is it true?” Is it true that all people from France are really nice? No, it’s not, but from where I sit, it’s not hurting me to think that way. Is it true that all people from Montclair are snobs? Of course not, and it is not good for my health or my social life to carry around that sentiment.
Some people are hijacked by unreasonable powerful neuro-associations and walk around limited forever. We can challenge them and overwrite the unuseful ones by making new decisions.
wow Larry, you must have met my family. I am the poster child was for being raised in unreasonable powerful neuro associations. The good news, I recognized it early on but it’s been a tough, uphill battle.