Like you, I have bad days. Things that are important and dear to me seem to be quite out of sorts some days. It hurts.
You read something like the title of this post, and it’s easy to say “yeah, yeah, yeah – whatever.”
But after years of “practice” and observation, I have noticed some things. When I have that bad day and feel the pain of disappointment, frustration or pain, I can easily keep replaying it in my head – feeling the sting again and again – and even magnifying it to be bigger. That’s the suffering part in the above caption.
Someone hits me with the whip, and I say “That hurts…and may I borrow that whip? – because I will use it on myself over and over again so I don’t forget how this feels.”
Do I have to do that to myself?
So, I catch myself thinking about it and replaying it. I say to myself “No. Stop this.Stop thinking about it. Maybe reinterpret it and maybe not, but move on.” I may move my body – do something, go somewhere, be around people, interact. That helps.
Being more mature than I was, and not as mature as I will be, I understand now.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I’m writing a book about this kind of thing right now. We all have things that make us “lose sleep” and every time we look back on it (after we can see it for what it really is) we wonder why we worried so much. I call it the art of objectifying (not the name of the book). Treat the situation as a “thing” and you can look at it from all angles more clearly.
Very well said
Excellent advice. I am guilty of the suffering part but thanks to your advice I will try to remind myself to “move on”. Hey, made an observation about your company recently. Your TV ads say “over 45,000 customers since 1987” and the side of your trucks say “over 62,500”. I think your TV ad needs to be updated. 🙂
How true it is! Your worst enemy can be yourself. As well, you can be your best ally.
Tremendous Post and Very valuable message. I read your posts daily and always enjoy them. Can’t think of any that weren’t usefull if I gave it some serious thought. Thanks for your efforts Larry. Have A Great Day