When we are doing what is most important to us, chasing the goals that are meaningful to us, we are energized and time falls away. We don’t feel like it’s work, and our best selves come out to make progress.
Have you felt that way? When?
Do you feel that way now?
Oh yeah!
Right on!
I always feel like it’s silly to say I’m working. I never think of it as anything more than simply doing what I love to do.
I recently allowed myself to get overwhelmed with all the important high value projects that needed to be completed. I felt like I could not do anything. I was locked up! Then I stopped doing everything for 2 days. Disconnected from the day to day and just relaxed, cleared my mind & then focused on what would make the most impact. It became clear that some other high value important projects would have to be postponed to a latter date. Then my sanity returned!
Hi Larry! Yes I feel that way now. Matter of fact I have always felt this way with my job here at MidAmerica! I have never had a job before that the time flys! Daily, weekly, monthly! It seems as though my adventure just started here when in reality I am celebrating 13 years here this year! That is just crazy to even say out loud to me!
Ahhh,
the 6 month chase brought out a side of me that I was repressing because as a child my mom made fun of me after she found and read my journals.
The stress at times got unbearable and I had no other way of channeling my energy so I learned to burn the pages the instant I finished writing. Burned them because tearing them to pieces was not safe enough. The pieces could still be put together allowing to read the puzzle. It happened before and the repercussions were terrible.
This was during Communism in Romania.
I tell myself that her harsh mentoring methods were to keep our family safe. As an adult I know better. I know she went through a rough time herself and us children depended on our mothers strength to cope each day.
I didn’t want to be made fun of so I stopped writing my thoughts down.
Interestingly she loved my drawings and paintings so I transitioned to that kind of self expression instead of writing.
At nights I also offered to rub her shoulders and back because I noticed it made her feel extremely happy and relaxed. She loved my little hands that radiated warmth and healing and served as an acceptable replacement to substitute for the lack of my dads loving caring touch. A dad who was a very hard worker but had a serious alcohol problem for many years.
Why am I sharing this with the world?
Because one man has the courage to make me think by asking a daily question.
The same man had the stamina to say “not yet, but keep going”, igniting a desire to fight back against oppression and allow my thoughts to freely flow.
Him and I are very different but in the same time very alike and in many ways connected. Not in your earthly physical way but in a more meaningful and more profound way. He is real and so am I. The man’s faith is bigger than his heart.
In total, I saw him the 3 times I choose to sit in the audience while I listened to his meaningful message he was sharing with the world.
His message will surprise you, will shock you to the bone, and you will probably end up saying it is too unbelievable and sweep it under your rug. You just keep doing that until one day you will understand that everything they talk about is real and the truth will bring down many walls and its acceptance will require tremendous change.
I reread some of the things I wrote and I am surprised, impressed, and even a midget proud.
The little girl who only passed English because of another little girls mercy who allowed her to copy homework and helped during testing, the little girl who came to America because a shy introverted boy decided she was pretty and kind enough to make a good wife.
Did I really wrote that?
A girl who 14 years ago didn’t even speak English. A girl who already knew about a couple different forms of physical and psychological abuse but had no idea what culture shock was.
Deep down I am disappointed and sad because I am starting a new job this coming Monday.
I should be happy, I tell myself.
I am happy because I am alive and because I found a job.
But thinking about going back to work already makes me feel sluggish. Finding a job was never a problem. I always had at least one full time job where I did my best to keep the team alive.
Even though the new job will pay good money and I will have a lot of freedom to apply my creative problem solving skills to every day tasks, I will also have to touch a lot of papers, reorganize drawers and cabinets, I will have to make phone calls, create lists, determine and stay on top of a sales strategy, hire people, keep the books accurate and cash flow going, a lot of necessary cool stuff which will use up my energy and the time that I spent this past 6 months traveling, meeting new people, and writing about my encounters, the stories I heard and the impressions I was left with.
I am starting to realize that I do enjoy writing, connecting, listening and helping others.
I never thought I could write so openly about the LGBT community, the miracles of life, about the voice that inspired me to strive …
… and now I understand why they do not have a position for me at the organization I was chasing for 6 months …
It is not because I am not capable to fit well in any chosen position or department.
It is because one person saw the spark and he knew better so he followed his own inner voice.
Respect, Gratitude, and Love is what I have to offer as a Thank You to the man who dedicated himself and his life to inspire and encourage the world, you and I.
Hi Larry… I want to thank you for your positive word every day. It helps me to stay on track with my goals.