"This too, shall pass"

“Events are like telephone poles, streaming past the observation platform of a speeding train.  They loom large at first, then melt into the distance, becoming so tiny they finally disappear altogether.” – Erle Stanley Gardner

What event looms large in your life right now?

The Inner Game

Throughout my career I have learned, tried and done a lot of things.  I had skin in the game the whole way – and that makes a huge difference.  When I began to teach others, in small increments at first many years ago, and now almost full time, my key ideas coalesced over time.

If there is one “Larry Janesky idea” that I feel is central to living a happy self-actualized life it’s this –

From nothing, comes something.

From the inner, comes the outer.

From the invisible, comes the visible.

And there you have it.  Everything going on around us and all the results we get in our lives is a result of what is going on inside our heads.  We are not likely to win the outer game if we don’t win the inner one.  

It’s the inner game that counts.

The Courage to be Disliked

In his book “The Courage to be Disliked”, Alfred Adler says –

“It’s not your task to be liked; it’s your task to be likable and let others decide what they want to do.”

Let’s stop worrying about if others like us, and control the controllables.

What a relief!

Your growth requires courage

“You can’t test courage cautiously.” – Annie Dillard

You have to be bold sometimes, and just go for it.

Origins of the Fear of Public Speaking

I have been thinking a lot about how life for humans has changed so quickly in the last few hundred years and how we are ill-equipped for parts of it.  

Let’s explore the origins of the fear of public speaking, which most people have an abundance of.  

While there are a few causes such as the risk of being embarrassed that you don’t know what you’re talking about, I wanted to give a different viewpoint.  For most of human history we needed the direct cooperation of each other to survive. (Today we still do but through the miracle of capitalism and markets we get the cooperation at arm’s length – i.e. we don’t have to know the people who grow our food for example.)

We may have a deep onboard fear that if we speak out and are disagreed with we will be cast out of the tribe and starve.  So, literally, our life depended on this not happening.  (We may fear we will not have anyone to procreate with (since there were so few choices back then) and this is still a risk depending on the content of your speech.)

The next fact is that for most of human history it was strong man rule.  It was a violent time, far far more than today, and if you spoke out in disagreement with the strong man, he’d just kill you, or at least beat your a@#.  So again, our life depended on laying low and not speaking out.

Today, in most places, these factors are gone.  It’s still never a good idea to go around pissing everyone off, but we have to recognize that our native fears (and desires and preferences) come from a different time when our mothers father’s mother’s father’s mother’s father was just trying to feed themselves and their family and survive.

So next time you get the jitters when you are about to address a group, just remember the fear is for a time gone by, that you will not be killed or beaten up or starve following your speech, and get out there and make your point.

What are you arguing about now?

What is your grievance?  

Will it matter in 20 years?

No? Then let it go.

Physical Training – What I have learned

I’m 54, and if it wasn’t for my bum knee I could say I am in the best shape of my life.  

Here’s what I have learned from others and from experience – 

Having a goal (the next race for example) gives you a reason to train.

I am moving away from eating gluten, sugar, and dairy.  Not 100% away, but much better than ever.

By prepping your own meals you have control of your diet.

Traveling is hazardous to my health (not enough sleep, eating poorly)

I workout hard, then rest a day.  The rest day is just as important as the workout day.

I read before sleeping and I get to sleep much faster than having a screen open before bed.

I don’t do what hurts me in the gym.  There are plenty of things to do without injuring myself.

I forced it for a while, but now working out is a habit.  I look forward to it most days.

You don’t need a lot of equipment to work out at home.  Push-ups, sit-ups, a few dumbells, and maybe a kettlebell and you can do a lot if you know how.  Have someone show you what and how you can do it.

Crossfit helped me learn a lot, but there are things that are risky for me at my age.  I found out which movements they are and don’t do them.  You can join and “modify” the workouts to stay safe.

Running is great to lose weight, but running shoes with big shock cushioning heels are harmful.  Learn how to run without big heel strikes while your leg is straight – it beats up your knees.  I like to run in the woods where it’s softer and more interesting, though I am not able to run right now. (You can bike, row…)

Spartan Races are challenging and fun – even if you are not a racer or much or a major athlete yet.  Start with a Spartan Sprint near you!

“Be fit to be useful”, and to feel better and live longer.

Start now.

Look for the good in every situation

Our house burned down – we get to build a new one.

The dog died – the dog isn’t suffering anymore.

I got laid off – I get to find a new and better job.

I broke my leg – I get to catch up on my reading and learning.

There is something good in every situation.  Find it.

Winners look forward

Low performing people look backward at the past most of the time. 

High performing people look forward into the future most of the time.

How about you?

Victims blame

When you blame others, it puts you in a position of a victim – and you feel that way.

Are you consistently blaming others for something?  

Accept responsibility.  Until you do, you can’t change it.  When you do, you’ll feel a sense of control.